The random musings of a girl who’s starting to feel her age.

I remember not that long ago when 28 seemed like an eternity away. It was strange and exotic, that section of the late twenties where you’re still young enough to party with the college kids, but old enough to feel every bad decision you make the next morning. In a lot of ways the last two months feels like that, the waking up sore for no good reason and finding random bruises but not quite remembering where they came from.

And, I wish I could say they were from something awesome. I wish I could say I did things like so many other writers do. I don’t run, let alone five miles. I think I would die if I tried. Oh, I could work up to it, eventually. But it’s that process that would leave me aching and I  might not see it through.

Not that I don’t go to the gym. In fact, we’re going this morning and I will ride the stationary bike for a bit, then walk on the treadmill at approximately the same pace I walk everywhere at my day job. Then I’ll shower and go to said day job.

Now I’m beginning to understand what the problem is. I create these fantastic worlds and scenarios for my characters. My life, while full of quirks, oddities, and mistakes, is still mundane. Mundane. I don’t like that word. It takes the magic out of things, and there is magic in the world whether we can use it or not. Some of our science is like magic, bordering on the edges of incomprehensible, but someone, somewhere still understands how it works. Magic, that’s another beast.

You can use magic. You can write spells and brew potions, but that doesn’t mean you understand why things work. You can think you understand, but the reality is often far different than that.

Which is why we escape to worlds where anything is possible. Where monsters exist and good people do their best to save us. That’s why we play characters in games and chase after some semblance of glory. We want to break down the mundane walls that surround our lives and fill them with something more. It’s also why we idolize people we think lead interesting lives, even if we’re completely wrong about how exciting and wonderful it is to have attention and opportunity.

Maybe I’m just feeling old, like I’ve spent too long at the party. My new characters are starting to have ages younger than my own. Adventuring is a younger person’s game. It’s horrible, painful, and really no way to make a name for yourself, at least not a safe way. You know what? I’ll stick to writing the adventures. It seems safer and if I can make it through the next few weeks, I’ll have a bit more time to work some magic of my own.


One Response to “The random musings of a girl who’s starting to feel her age.”

  1. Wait ’til you turn 30! I was an agonizing mess BEFORE my birthday. Then after that, it was more like, f*ck it, I’ll do what I want!

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