I Should Listen to Myself More.

Yesterday was painful. Not in any physical way, though my legs did hurt from running around at work. No. My brain decided that it didn’t like words yesterday. I blame a lack of sleep. I had to be up at 6am and the insomnia that plagued me last summer decided to make a reappearance.

It worried me. There is nothing more unpleasant than not being able to sleep for more than four hours. The lying in bed, just waiting for sleep to claim you because you can’t think or function or exist anymore.

My sleep pattern has been pretty good lately. Sure, I wake up during the night. I have been going right back to sleep, for the most part anyway.

The point being, writing was not happening. I felt like a lump. Useless and taking up space. Until I realized that sometimes our brains need a break from the tasks we do every day. There’s a reason weekends exist and companies are required to give days off. Our brains eventually get tired of the tasks at hand and, in protest quit doing them.

So, yesterday turned into a day off. It worked out for the best. I finished the chapter I was having problems with. I started the next one. I’m feeling like I’m back on track as far as the story goes. Which is good, because knowing where you want to be around 30,000 words, but not how you’re getting there is a strange place to be.

A really strange place.

Unlike some people I know (my brother) I can’t write out of order. Things that happen at the beginning of a story have bearing on the end. Interaction between characters change the dynamic. Maybe where I want to be (with my two protagonists in bed together) won’t be where they end up. Maybe something happens in the next 15,000 words that precludes that option. I won’t know until I write it.

That sentence is… strange, but true. I don’t use outlines for zero drafts. I take an idea. I pick a place to start. Then I write. I’ll get enough together to know where the next chapter is going, or who my protagonist is talking to, then I write. Sometimes it’s good. Other times I end up gutting chapters and reworking them. Then the change carries through the rest of the story.

There’s flow, coherency. Most of all, character development. The character has to change. Each event we go through changes us a little bit. I think I know what my protagonist realizes this book. It might be the thing I finally figured out, how to play nice with others.

Well, I’m getting there anyway. I still want to hurt people sometimes, but I think we all do. It’s probably related to how much someone frustrates you. Yeah… That’s it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: