Sometimes the dichotomy between childhood and being an adult frightens me. Here it is, Easter Sunday, and the childhood me wants colored eggs and way too much sugar. The adult me, well, I’ve been watching crime dramas and working on revisions between loads of laundry.

I think the largest difference lays in the fact that to me, today is just another day. There’s nothing special about it. Tomorrow I’m back at school. I have two classes to teach, and a lunch duty that is bound to be interesting.  I’ll keep plugging away at the revisions. I’ll probably get a short story finalized and sent in for another contest, or that might be Tuesday’s project.

The holiday has no meaning to me. Oh, once we have kids, it will. Right now I’m just in that strange nether space of the late 20’s where I want all those things I used to have as a child, but can’t rationalize it with my adult standing. So, I focus on what matters, writing, laundry, eventually getting some other work done because wallowing in self pity over things that I can’t have seems like a waste of time.

Sure, I can go buy candy and color some eggs, but it’s that magic of belief that’s gone. I know I’m the one who put it together. It didn’t magically appear over night. God, I miss childhood.

Maybe that’s why I’ve gravitated toward urban fantasy lately. I miss the magic. If I can’t have it, I can at least write about it. And that’s better than nothing.

I do enjoy that strange kind of magic that lights up the world. So, maybe it isn’t a bad way to spend this holiday. After all, tomorrow it’s back to reality and trying to get a million things done. Welcome to being an adult. Enjoy your stay.


2 Responses to “Holidays”

  1. I’m stuck. I’d love to do the fun things, easter egg hunts (adult version (EPIC)) things like that, celebrate spring hang with friends. Maybe have a horribly guilt ridden easter supper with friends. (chocolate wine…)

    But my family views it as a huge religious holiday. (read my MOTHER) It’s such an argument of “you heathen what are you doing with that chocolate egg?!” This is the first year i’ve been home for easter in a long time and she hasn’t bullied me into going to church with her. I’m not religious, but i still want to celebrate spring, so damn it the easter bunny is going to come next year!

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